I am in the midst of the agonizing aspect of a commission. It goes without saying that one of the hardest exercises is to make something from nothing or to take something like love and convey, without words as in a painting, its character and quality. I always grapple with the composition and the colors prior to getting in too deep. And in the process of getting into a work I usually encounter the fear of not achieving my desire and of ending up with a dud. After I accept that I may end up with a dud there can come a shot of determination. (One of my favorite professors in college said that if something is worth doing it's worth doing badly.) Being serious and thorough about the composition is key for me otherwise I find that the result is much more out of my control.
After having begun the commission, I reflected on the process (as usually happens) and it struck me how relevant the whole paradigm of creating art and achieving union in one's life is. More than anything, I see that persistence and fearlessness are absolutely key. How can I achieve if I don't push ahead? You know what I mean! We wring our hands over the state of affairs meanwhile doing NOTHING. DOING is key. eg. I don't pray enough. My prayer is dull. What am I to do? answer: pray more. pray better. . . Ask for the grace first, beg for the grace, now get going. Don't delay. Begin, whatever IT is, begin.